If you think Joe Biden is bad, just imagine President Kamala


Picture the scene:

It’s July 4, 2023, and President Kamala Harris is about to address the American people about Vladimir Putin’s decision to invade Poland.

She’s been leader of the free world for six months since Joe Biden, implementing the 25th Amendment, abruptly resigned on the grounds of physical and mental incapacity after the Democrats suffered the worst mid-term election mauling in history, losing 120 House seats and eight Senate seats.

This beat Grover Cleveland’s ignominious long-held record since 1892 of ‘biggest midterm wipe-out ever’ and meant the Republicans seized back full control of Congress with paralyzing agenda-wrecking majorities.

(It was reported that Biden fell into a spontaneous catatonic state after seeing the sheer size of his failure to persuade Americans he was doing a good job, though it took White House aides several days to realize he wasn’t acting normally.)

President Harris’ tenure in office has bordered on the miraculous, in that she has managed to be even worse than her predecessor — something political experts didn’t think possible.

In fact, her presidency has been a catalogue of calamities, dominated by woke-ravaged lunacy.

Her first decision was to make fresh-person congress-person Megan Rapinoe her vice-president, saying how delighted she was to appoint the first gay woman to such high office – only for Rapinoe to wreck the historic moment by issuing a furious statement saying she now identified as a non-binary bi-sexual womb-carrier, so had never been so offended and was quitting before she even started.

Megan Rapinoe.
If Kamala Harris were president, Megan Rapinoe would be vice president.
Dustin Bradford/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Rapinoe was persuaded to stay on when Harris agreed to ditch the moniker ‘Madam President’ and be addressed in future as ‘President of Indeterminate Gender’, and campaign for all US sport to now be gender neutral to guarantee “fairness, equality and inclusion.”

(Thus, Team USA at the 2024 Paris Olympics was entirely made up of biological males and smashed every women’s Olympic record to smithereens. “This is what progressive progress looks like!” said a delighted Harris.)

Schools are in meltdown after she made Meghan Markle the new Education Secretary and her first action was to make it a firing offense for teachers to even mention the names of “toxically masculine” American icons like Abraham Lincoln, Elvis Presley, Neil Armstrong and Mickey Mantle because they all “looked like the cruel white supremacists in the royal family” from whom she was forced to escape.

Illegal immigration has exploded after Harris declared an immediate path to full US citizenship for anyone who now turns up to attempt illegal entry on the southern border and identifies as a legal immigrant, saying: “Self-identity is the bedrock of this administration. Under my presidency-of-indeterminate-gender, people have the right to be who they want to be! Hahahaha!”

To which critics responded by suggesting she was now self-identifying as a blithering idiot.

Kamala Harris.
A President Kamala would be even worse than her predecessor.
Jacquelyn Martin/AP

Crime has also dramatically increased after President Harris’s new Secretary for Homeland Security, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, introduced a substantial defunding of the police which led to instant widespread lawlessness.

Meghan Markle.
Meghan Markle, President Kamala Harris’ Secretary of Education.
Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images

Without a scintilla of self-awareness, the two women had proudly unveiled their “No cops, no fear” policy from inside the impregnable bomb-proof White House Situation Room, behind a wall of heavily armed secret service agents. 

Gas prices are now $12 a gallon after Harris signed an emergency executive order banning all US government dealings with Saudi Arabia, something she announced with a lengthy uncontrollable cackle and the words, “Joe was so weak with these misogynist monsters, hahahaha, I’ll show ‘em what feminist empowerment really looks like, hahaha!”

The Saudis responded by saying “This is why we don’t let women drive cars” and giving all their oil to China and Russia, massively worsening America’s energy supply crisis. 

Inflation has continued surging to 15%, a full-blown recession is now raging, another great depression is looming, and her only response has been to give an interview to Jen Psaki on MSNBC in which she smirked, nodded smugly, and said: “You know me, Jen, I’m a detail kinda gal, and I can assure you I know EXACTLY what the problem is, I’m focusing very HARD on the problem, I’m sure I’ll SOLVE the problem, although I can’t say how I’ll do that yet, and anyway, things are way WORSE in Venezeula so we really do need some perspective here, people – AM I RIGHT, JEN?! Hahahaha.”

If President Harris’ domestic agenda is a disaster, then her performance on the international stage has been a catastrophe of Biblical proportions.

She withdrew all US weapons supplies to President Zelensky in Ukraine after discovering he had cracked “totally, like, inappropriate” trans jokes when he was a comedian. This woeful inaction of woke-induced military hardware cancel culture promptly emboldened Russia to attack and successfully seize Kyiv, thus completing their illegal takeover of the entire country.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would become President Kamala Harris’ Secretary for Homeland Security.
Andrew Harnik/AP/Bloomberg via Getty Images

And she summarily ended the “Special Relationship” with Britain after it was revealed that Prime Minister, Boris Johnson had been taking the title too literally and been caught having an illicit affair with the new US Ambassador to London, Jane Hartley. 

“I can’t abide immorality,” said the woman who once had a lengthy fling with a married man twice her age and held a webcast debate about “empowering women and girls” …with Bill Clinton. 

Jussie Smollett.
Jussie Smollett, President Kamala Harris’ Chief of Staff.
Rodin Eckenroth/FilmMagic

But her most shocking move was to unilaterally disarm the United States of all its nuclear weapons because Putin said he would too if America went first.

“It’s funny, hahaha,” she laughed, loudly, on her return from Moscow, “but I trust Vladimir, hahahaha. We have peace in our time!”

Of course, like Hitler in 1939, Putin went back on his word, and has now attacked Poland, telling NATO if they respond then he will nuke them to rubble.

So, it’s Independence Day 2023, and President Harris, flanked by her Chief of Staff Jussie Smollett for support if she needs to play the faux victim card, is about to address the American people, and the watching world, and she doesn’t know what to say.

As the camera goes live, she nervously giggles and gurns, frantically strokes her hair, then stares ahead like the most terrified rabbit ever trapped in headlights, and finally stammers: “Well…hahaha…. at least y’all know now what I meant by the significance of the passage of time! RIGHT?! My presidency’s been the most significantly dreadful in the whole passage of time! HAHAHAHA!”

Seventeen months later, Ron DeSantis is elected President of the United States after the biggest election victory in US history.


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