Celebrities’ desire for tattoos will never end

Noodling on doodles

Celebrities tit for tat:

Katy Perry’s gills are alive with the mound of messages. A strawberry’s on an ankle, Jesus on a wrist, a bicep in Sanskrit reads “Go With the Flow.” So many tattoos that she’s insulated against everything but failure.

Scarlett Johansson reportedly has nine. Her back alone is a best seller . . . Angelina Jolie’s “Billy Bob” arm got undid when she undid husband Billy Bob Thornton. Only lawyers know what she did with Brad.

IMDb.com reports Peanuts cartoon character “Woodstock” is on Whoopi’s chest. Left side. On her right side, who knows. I know it’s not politics.

Bill Murray? A duck on his left shoulder — how this helps him, who knows . . . One John Mellencamp arm features Woody Woodpecker . . . Mark Wahlberg’s body — a rosary . . . VanishingTattoo.com says Jon Bon Jovi flashes a longhorn skull someplace. Whoknowswhere . . . Juliette Lewis? Bunny inside her left wrist. Whoknowswhy.

Painted ladies

Pink? An Oriental dragon somewhere, bar code below her hairline, frog on her left foot, her father’s and brother’s Army dog tags on her right foot. She’s protected from everything except a naked photo.

Rihanna? Stars down her back — fish and birds on the legs . . . Kaia Gerber? About 10. Inside her left wrist it’s black flowers . . . Kylie Jenner? A butterfly . . . Kendall Jenner? Inside her lip.

Rihanna tattoo
Rihanna is known to be an avid tattoo lover. She has ink on her chest, arms and foot.

Dan Aykroyd inked Bible mishmash . . . Adam Levine’s chestful includes the word “California.” If he relocates to Okavango Delta in Botswana he’s got a problem. People magazine reported he has more than 30.

Know-it-alls who supposedly know it all claim Ariana Grande’s full of it — or them . . . Emma Watson’s right arm has “Times Up” . . . Hilary Duff? Some old-time Bette Davis quote on an arm. Which quote, what arm, who knows. Lucky I know even this.

Must be they think tats entertainment.

Thinking ink

Lily Collins? A naked woman on a — surprise surprise — lily pad . . . Selena Gomez a “g” on her neck for sister Gracie . . . Megan Fox does Shakespeare on her back . . . Jessica Alba “lotus” written in Sanskrit . . . David Beckham does Chinese symbols. Maybe it’s his delivery order from Uber Eats.

David Beckham
David Beckham lifts his shift to show fans his tattoo in in Beijing, China.
Visual China Group via Getty Images

Lea Michele a coffee cup on one finger. Small cup, not enough room for a mug . . . Justin Bieber’s tatted all over . . . Somewhere Kelly Osbourne sports “Solidarity” . . . Symbol of unity on Gaga’s shoulder is for sexual assault survivors . . . Drew Barrymore’s daughters’ names are on her arm . . . Miley Cyrus’ arm advertises whatever’s “Vegemite.”

Wiz Khalifa? Everywhere . . . Johnny Depp’s maybe next: “Better to have loved and lost” . . . And Billie Eilish’s favorite says “Eilish.” Hey, songs may come and awards may go but an inked arse goes on forever.

AND home after my Friday root canal, I read Ogden Nash’s poem for husbands:

“To keep your marriage brimming/With love in the loving cup/Whenever you’re wrong, admit it/Whenever you’re right, shut up.”

And not just only in New York, kids, only in New York.

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